Crazy Is the New Normal

My legs almost gave out this morning as I walked down the stairs. That first footstep after you wake up when everything seems to ache, even your eyeballs. Is that everyone in their 50s or just me?

I reflected on these past 6 days of nutty workouts as I gripped the railing, my bones and muscles creaking alongside the wooden steps. “What the hell am I doing?” I thought. “A triathlon tomorrow?”

Who started all of this madness where swimming, biking and running alongside hundreds of women in the early hours of a chilly September morning has become the new normal? I flash back to my mom and her friends enjoying a cup of coffee together on the porch, laughing out loud, ignoring us, smoking so much that the room looked like a small house fire. Their conversations probably revolved around whether to work or not, what's for dinner, town news, gossip about the other women in their lives.

Our conversations? How to apply the Glide so our butt cheeks don't chafe.

Did I say they ignored us? Yes, that was a faraway time ago.

Today we work full-time, micro-manage our children’s lives AND embark on the path of physical overachievement.

I run with women who think it’s normal to get up at 4:45 AM and run 16 miles before work.

“How far are you going today?” I ask.

“16,” Crazy Friend #1 says.

“Oh, and you?”

“Probably 12,” Crazy Friend #2 says.

This time, a few are training for the NYC marathon. A few others, the Hartford Half.

You’d think these were once-in-a-lifetime, check-it-off-your-bucket list, events -- like my sprint Tri that is happening tomorrow (did I say that is happening tomorrow?). Nope. Another race is always there. Race To the Beach, Tough Mudder. 70.3 Half Ironman. Always something.

So I ask, “When did cigarettes, soap operas and ignoring our children stop being the norm?” My mom is 87 years old and hasn’t jogged a yard in her life. She smoked a pack a day (back in the day) and drinks Manhattans for dinner. I mean, with dinner (winky face). Today, if I talk to my mother about my life, she gazes back at me with a blank, bored stare as if I'm speaking a foreign language. Puzzled and confused, she usually changes the subject. 

This seismic behavioral shift in one generation? How?!

Gotta wrap this blog up. I’ve got yoga this morning. Work to catch up on. A cross-country meet at 2:00 and field hockey game at 4:00.

Oh yeah, and carbo loading for this Tri tomorrow.

Did I say it was tomorrow?

Magnesium: My Calming Elixir

Every night, I scoop a heaping teaspoon of magnesium powder into my orange tea. This elixir calms me, and I know my body needs it. I supplement with different nutrients based on medical tests – yes – but I also supplement intuitively because I know my body better than anyone. Magnesium is that mineral I could bathe in (I actually do), and my body sings with gratitude when I take it.

Why all the fuss with Mg?

The world knows all about calcium. Its famous health claim of increasing bone density erupted in the 80s and 90s with most doctors prescribing it to patients, particularly post-menopausal women. Our store shelves filled with giant bottles of calcium tablets, tasty chocolate-flavored calcium chews and orange juice fortified with calcium.

Well, calcium has a close counterpart – a dear friend – called magnesium. The media of today’s stressed out world is beginning to recognize this “orphan nutrient” that functions differently from calcium in the body. What we didn’t know back then is that calcium needs magnesium to optimize these bone-building benefits. The yin/yang of minerals, calcium and magnesium work together, and our bodies need both in balance.

I’m not a huge fan of fixating on one nutrient. When calcium hit the news, people overdid it. We even "fortified" margarine with it! Actually, we still might? Blue Bonnet, anyone? 

In spite of not wanting to emphasize one nutrient, magnesium deserves some attention. For one, we need to balance out our calcium obsession because the minerals work together. Two, a lot of us are deficient in this vital mineral.

Recent data suggests more than 60% of US adults do not consume enough magnesium. Up to 80% ofthe US population is deficient in magnesium (The Magnesium Miracle, Carlyn Dean, MD).

Every organ in the body needs magnesium to function. Also, we use magnesium in over 300 enzymatic reactions to produce energy, make proteins, work muscles, control blood sugar and regulate blood pressure.

Without magnesium, we’re a mess!

Foods rich in magnesium include dark leafy greens, nuts, seeds, fish, beans, whole grains, avocados, yogurt, bananas, dried fruit, dark chocolate, but even if we eat these magnesium-rich foods, we’re still at risk for deficiency. Why?

The short answer?

STRESS.

Our world is filled with stressors. We have emotional stress (I'm one of those chronic worriers), physical stress (sports enthusiasts and insomniacs), environmental/toxic stress (pollution) and dietary stress (processed foods). Just to name a few! All contribute to our loss of magnesium. On top of chronic stress, the following conditions deplete magnesium stores in some way:

·      Gastrointestinal disease

·      Hypertension and cardiovascular disease

·      Type 2 Diabetes

·      Alcohol Dependence

·      The Aging Process

That’s pretty much all of us.

Here are just a few ways supplementing with magnesium can help:

1. Sleep -- 50% of adults suffer from insomnia. We either can’t fall asleep or we wake up too early and are unable to go back to sleep. Studies show that supplementing with magnesium can improve sleep efficiency, sleep time and early morning wakening. It also improves other marker such as levels of melatonin and cortisol, which contribute to a better quality zzz’s.

Magnesium can also help with restless leg syndrome.

2. Fat Loss

Magnesium can help with fat loss? One study showed that people who were deficient in magnesium were at a greater risk for obesity. Getting the right amount of magnesium in your blood has been correlated with a lower waist to hip ratio, and lower triglycerides.

3. Muscle Building

As we age, we lose muscle mass. Magnesium could play a role in preventing age-related loss of skeletal muscle mass, power and strength, claims one study.

This helps in two ways. Magnesium helps feed the muscle directly, helping build it. It also lowers chronic inflammation, a risk factor in muscle for skeletal muscle loss. Either way, our muscles appreciate that added dose of magnesium.

4. Mental health – Many studies are popping up showing the relationship between magnesium and mental health. It makes sense that if chronic stress depletes magnesium, adding it back into your routine will help alleviate some of those symptoms. Patients with borderline disorders have a higher magnesium deficiency. Magnesium also lowers risk for depression. Another study found that magnesium worked as well as antidepressants! 

If we don’t have enough magnesium, we can’t produce the serotonin we need.   

5. Reduce Bone Loss

Many lifestyle stressors contribute to bone loss, the biggest being our standard American diet (SAD). Eating a balanced diet rich in calcium, magnesium, omega-3s and magnesium can maintain health bone structure throughout life, and can prevent bone loss in adulthood.  

This data is all well and good, but, ultimately, only our bodies really know whether supplementing with nutrients works or not. For me, I crave my cup of magnesium tea like a lot of women crave their wine.

Every night. 

Calms me right the hell down.

Empower Your Body!

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(I use Tazo's Sweet Orange tea and a heaping teaspoon of Magnesium Chelate Powder. It's a glycinate form so won't agitate your bowels. "Like" my FB page and message me for a discount code if you'd like to try it!)

Time To Grow Up, Mom

I’m sneaking into my teenaged daughter’s room to watch her sleep, like I did when she was a baby. This time, her frame languishes over the side of the bed, her hair is splayed over her pillow and her mouth is wide open. Her dreams are different now. No longer is she dreaming about nestling with her mom. Instead, she’s popping field hockey balls into a goal, or doing illegal things with her friends.

I stare at her slumbering body and say a prayer for her. Let's face it. The prayer is really for me, hoping to erase my worry and fear.

She leaves for her first year of college in a few days and, even though I’ve been through this before (daughter #1), it’s not easier. I've been saying it’s easier, bragging to my friends, “She’s ready. I haven’t even cried once.”

But here I am staring at her while she sleeps, wishing I could just crawl into that bed and snuggle her into my arms the way I did when she was a helpless infant. These past few days, we’ve been shopping and buying what she needs for her dorm room. The special bedding, some decorations, lots of fans. We’re amassing stuff, but it’s not feeling like enough. Should I have enrolled her in self-defense classes? Did I teach her how to sew in case she rips her pants in the middle of the day? Can she work those laundry machines at school? I’m not even sure she knows how to light a match! Do kids even use matches these days? Have I been clear about not drinking anything unless she’s seen the bottle opened in front of her? Have I told her not to walk alone at night?

Have I prepared this helpless infant for the bigger world?

No matter how physically big my girls get, they’re always my babies. Their lives evolve into adulthood, but I still see their toothless grins and wispy hair in pony tails. I see them swinging from monkey bars, and flying on their bikes down Craigmoor Road for the first time. I see them running home from the bus stop, and skating in our backyard. I see them clamoring for my lap when we sit on the couch to watch a movie.

I linger in the room a bit longer. I resist the urge to climb into that bed and lay next to her. She doesn’t need me in that way anymore. She needs me to nudge her from the nest and encourage her to fly. She needs me to believe in her adulthood. She needs me to stop staring at her while she sleeps!

Turning towards the door, I trip on the mound of shit we bought at Target the other day, the purchases being my lame attempt to “prepare” her for her first flight out of the nest. She stirs and mutters, “Mom, you ok?”

I whisper, “Yeah, sure, honey. Sorry. Go back to sleep.”

I want to scream, “No, actually, I’m not OK. I’m staring at you while you’re sleeping!”

As I dodge the giant foam topper perched on the floor, and leave the room, I smile and realize…she’s ready.

She’s been ready.

Now it’s my turn.

---

My Friend, The Mirror

What is your relationship to the mirror?

Perched on a wall, a mirror does little but reflect back objects or give the impression of making a room bigger. This aluminum glass only gets interesting when turned to the sun or when someone stands in front of it. Its power lies in its ability to reflect, be it the sun or the human, but the greater power lies with the one holding the mirror. 

Do you hand over your power to a mirror? Do you judge yourself harshly by what is reflected back? Do you choose to spend precious time perfecting “imperfections” in front of it? Or do you see it for what it is…a two-dimensional fractured reflection of a physical reality that has just a little to do with who you really are?

When I was little, I played with mirrors and magnifying glasses, trying to set leaves on fire. If Archimedes could set fire to a whole fleet of ships by focusing the sunrays on them, why couldn’t I? With a magnifying glass, it’s straightforward. Just place it between the sun and the leaf, and watch the light get concentrated enough to burn a tiny hole that spreads and sets aflame. With a mirror, it’s trickier. You need a reflector from the back of a flashlight or the bottom of a soda can to focus the sunlight, but it can still be done.

As I grew up, my scientific curiosities with the mirror morphed into an adolescent obsession with it. The long rectangular mirror that hung on the back of my parent’s bedroom door became the barometer of my happiness, or should I say unhappiness. At around twelve, I noticed what I saw as chub around my thigh and I would fixate on it and wish I could slice the protrusion off with a cake knife. My body was changing quickly, and I didn’t like it. I hated my body with a vengeance, so much so that I starved it down to 81 pounds and nearly died.

Thus began a very tenuous relationship with the mirror that lasted most of my life.

At age 50, the mirror and I are finally friends again. I see it for what it is. When I stand in front of it, I allow it to show me if my skirt is clinging to my leg for dear life, or if my eyebrows have become one. I don’t let it contribute to any harsh judgment that might appear in my head. I’ve quieted those voices down, replacing them with messages of love and affirmation. I love the broken toe that sticks out on my left foot; the one I broke when running to answer the phone to talk to Lizzie, the first day home from the Peace Corps, smashing it against a door. I love the belly that sags just a little because it birthed my beautiful girls. I love the scar that runs up my shin because I remember what it felt like to be diagnosed with bone cancer at age 20, and appreciate the empathy I now feel with people who experience terror with a cancer prognosis. I don’t love the gray hair yet, but appreciate each strand as it pops through my color because I earned each wise one. Yes, the mirror and I are friends again. I let it wield power to reflect light and experience, not harsh judgment. 

 
When you look into a mirror, what do you see?  Try the following mirror exercises:

• Find one positive wonderful thing. “I love that shoulder. It’s so strong. It’s carried millions of pounds of stuff and people around this planet over my lifetime!” Say it out loud. As awkward as it will sound, just do it. Trust me.
• Write down your negative thoughts on paper, and laugh at them. Be aware of when the negativity creeps in, and laugh at it. 
• Connect parts of your body to positive life experiences. If you’re being negative about the shape of your nose, for example, imagine flowers or aromatic experiences you’ve had in your life. See the nose as having brought your life so much joy.
• Create a meditation around how your soul carries your body around in this life, not vice versa. Be conscious that it is just your bodily image reflected back from the mirror. If you want to fall in love with who you really are, stand there and smile and look deep into your own eyes. Connect with the part of you animating the body, not the clay form.
• Walk away from the physical mirror and go out into the world knowing that YOU are the true mirror. Your heart is what reflects the light and joy in this world. 

Be the mirror that reflects love.

“A pure heart is as a mirror; cleanse it with the burnish of love and severance from all save God, that the true sun may shine within it and the eternal morning dawn.” –Baha’u’llah

Shine Your Light!

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Grapefruit, A Dangerous Fruit?

A “Dangerous” Fruit? 

Remember the grapefruit as center stage in all things dieting back in the 70s and 80s?  Spoons with serrated tips even made it to the market to help us eat our ½ of a grapefruit each morning. Some diets claimed that grapefruit burned fat, boosted the metabolism and even suppressed our appetites, which is why they were the weight loss food when dieting started to become vogue. 

Do you know anyone who eats grapefruit today? As a child, I remember getting a giant box of grapefruit shipped to our house from Florida every December, a Christmas gift from my aunt. My mom would insist we eat one every day to fight the flu. Intuitively, she knew the medicinal power of grapefruits. Half of a grapefruit provides over 75% of our recommended daily intake of vitamin C, a micronutrient designed to strengthen and support our immune system. It also acts as a natural antihistamine, giving relief from allergies.

Supporting the immune system is only one of dozens of researched benefits of this fruit that has a perfectly designed combination of fiber, potassium, lycopene, vitamin C and choline. 

So why does my daughter know more about the Acai berry than the grapefruit? Why hasn’t she had a slice of grapefruit tossed into her Robek’s smoothie? Some of that is because my associations with grapefruit (starvation, having indulged in some of those weight loss strategies), but also because the grapefruit has been vilified as a “dangerous fruit,” and a food that many health professionals advise against eating. 

How could a fruit that positively influences blood lipid levels, especially triglycerides, and is high enough in potassium to help lower blood pressure suddenly have a DANGER sticker slapped on it? The short answer? Because it positively influences blood lipid levels and has a powerful effect on blood pressure. This powerful effect in our bodies can be contraindicated with many drugs on the market today, and drug companies make sure we understand the dangers of combining  grapefruit with these pharmaceuticals. Even I’m trained to steer patients on certain meds away from the grapefruit. 

Let’s just sit with the irony for a moment. A fruit that gives us nutrients exactly designed to support the management of degenerative disease such as diabetes and cardiovascular disorders is the fruit that many cardiologists must warn their patients against eating. 

Since 1990, there have been dozens, if not hundreds, of studies focused on the negative interactions of grapefruit with pharmaceutical drugs. In one study, grapefruit is considered a “dangerous fruit juice” because it enhances the effects of an antiarrythmic drug. Another study highlights the “great concern in the hypotensive effect that grapefruit has on the body, lowering blood pressure rapidly in those patients. “No, you cannot eat grapefruit, which is a natural hypotensive because it interferes with your hypertensive medication.”

Oh, OK. 

When browsing the 139 studies on grapefruit in PubMed, almost all of them focused on its deleterious interaction with medication. 

How about some studies on how we can use the natural potency of the grapefruit to improve cardiovascular health? 

Who's going to fund a study that replaces a drug with fruit?   

I say, “Bring back the serrated spoon!” 

Shine Your Light!

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When Did My Face Fall?

(Warning: Vain Post)

I’m watching my body do amazing things after 50. It sweats uncontrollably at the most undesirable times, and the distribution of fat deposits is shifting as if gravity is giving me a big FU. My thighs are falling over my knees. My tummy slouches over my underwear. My face? I get it now why they call it a facelift – one of those aha moments like when it dawns on you that Target’s symbol is actually a target. Yes, “face lift” because your face fell and you need someone to pull it up off the ground. I get it now.

The most exciting part of these changes is that they’re all happening at once! Yippee! My body’s parts all checked out at the same time and decided to take a vacation together. So I’m not sure which one to rally back first. My hormones are all aflux. Do I try revving those back up with bioidentical hormones or supplements? My collagen, the stuff that makes my skin taut, is decreasing to abysmal levels. Do I start throwing the beef collagen into my morning shakes? The “tear troughs” under my eyes have burrowed deep dark valleys into my face. Yes, a nurse at a medical spa informed me that my tear troughs are 4X deeper than the “normal” angle. I was in her office to sell her my stuff, and I was pulling out my credit card to buy HER stuff.

“I can make you look ten years younger in 10 minutes!” she hailed. “There’s no reason why your young-looking body should have an older face on it.” True story.

Do I puff my face up with fillers?

Most importantly, my 20/20 vision on which I prided myself -- keen, clear, observant eyesight -- has gone to the shitter and I can’t even pluck my own eyebrows without my readers on. Try that. Just try that, I dare you.

Because I am vain (even though I’m ashamed of my vanity), I’ll be drawn to claims that reverse the Titanic force of aging. But I’ll be smart about it. I don’t like blowing a lot of money or falling prey to someone else’s get-rich masterminding.

So, here are my rules of thumb when investigating “age management” gimmicks:

1. Use more than the Internet to validate claims, but don’t be shy about experimenting. I talk to doctors every day, so I pick their brains. What works, what doesn’t. Geniuses are inventing cutting-edge trends as we speak, but so are opportunists who know our weaknesses. Give one a whorl if it doesn’t break the bank. Have fun with it as long as there’s no cutting or nasty chemicals involved. ie/FasciaBlaster (Google it.)

2. Talk to friends. Get them to talk about what makes them feel good, what’s working, what doesn’t. Come on, Ladies! Share your secrets. I had a friend who got Botox and was embarrassed to tell me. Let’s be real together. Let’s not pretend every 50+ woman looks that good because her “grandmother had good genes.”

3. “God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference.” Nuff said. Accept what can’t be changed. We’re getting older. It’s OK! Journeying into our twilight years is exciting stuff. Let’s not obsess over an aging body that will eventually be food for worms. Dabble in the science of body beauty, but dive deeper into soul beauty. Soul beauty is what really matters. This is our time to shine as wise women!

Let’s not let the world’s gravity weigh us down too much. Soul level is zero gravity.

Shine your light!

Join the Herd!