photo cred: http://www.medhatsoliman.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/05/
During heated political times, where strife and hateful posts litter my feed, I enjoy a temporary hiatus from Facebook, and sometimes even enjoy posting about it (yes, I see the irony). In the past, it felt like a marital spat where I’d huff and puff away from the scene of the fight and shut down for a good hour or so. Nope, you don’t get to talk to me. You pissed me off so “I’m done!”
But today is different. Today, it feels like Facebook had an affair behind my back and I’m demanding divorce. I see my stronger friends vowing to jump off at midnight to send that loud-and-clear message to Zuckerberg and Sandberg.
Stop selling my personal life to anyone who will buy it! And I hear them.
I do.
As I go to delete my account, however, I find I'm addicted to this medium I never even had most of my life, like coffee, maybe worse. I wasn’t born drinking coffee, but I’ll be damned if someone tries to keep me from getting that first cup in the morning. I wasn’t born with Facebook. Hell, I’ve only had it (let me check because Facebook keeps meticulous records of such things) since January 2009. I’d already lived a fruitful and awesome life before jumping on Facebook in 2009!
(Wait. How on earth did I get by without Facebook prior to 2009?)
I wasn’t born with Facebook, no, but hitting delete is a whole lot harder than I thought -- like permanently ending a relationship. Thoughts like, “How will I keep in touch with these awesome 1,294 friends I have if I don’t have Facebook Messenger?” “How will I know who’s marching where and when over the latest I-hate-Trump issue?” “How will I get pictures from family gatherings?” “Who else will know that I really need that Love Your Dog bed or that special eye cream?”
And, most importantly to my aging brain…
“How the hell will I ever know whose birthday it is?!”
This web of web interconnectivity has been genius in my life. I’m a people person so I love it. I love seeing which one of my aspiring writer friends has recently published her first novel (Jennifer Haupt) even though I’ve never actually met her in person. I love pretending Sara Gruen actually knows me when I read about her beautiful dog, Ziggy. I just love pulling all of my separate worlds together in one place. Most of all, it’s convenient.
But maybe it’s time to part ways… for good, this time.
I spent a good hour this morning in Facebook lockdown, restricting just about any access to any of my information, deleting personal information as best I could, but like gum on a shoe, pieces of me are stuck there. I’ll never be able to clean it all off and know that even if I deleted my whole account today, bits of me remain.
Today marks the first day of spring. 12:15 PM is the equinox, to be precise.
In celebration of this auspicious season, I will clear off of Facebook!
Well, at least for as long as I can before getting the withdrawal symptoms.
(I give myself 2 days max).
So long, cheating social media conglomerate. May I be as strong as my strong friends.
(You know who you are).
